one might say we're banned from that church
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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