I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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