If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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