You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
