so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
