Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
