whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
