I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
two words...techno handjob
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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