if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
