girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
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I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
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I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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