took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
