oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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