Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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