Do you still have your period?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
