Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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