Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
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