She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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