i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
babies were throwing up all over the place
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
