did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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