All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
