if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
