He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
