I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
