we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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