I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Randomize
