Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
