yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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