She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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