if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
