exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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