Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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