I'm really into asian looking animals
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
