i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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