u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
