Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
kristin has been a bad kristin
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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