and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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