Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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