Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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