I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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