Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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