so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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