If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize