Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
