But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
