this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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