I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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