the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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