So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
