i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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