Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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