uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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