Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
third nipple confirmed
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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