just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
