Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
