He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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