4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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