A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
