using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
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Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
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I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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