i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
